The Art of Love- Part II

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Thinking Is Our Nature

Our brains are not a luxury, but they are essential to our existence as human beings.

Where it is perfectly natural for a dog or a cat or a bat or a frog to bump uglies without batting an eye, it is absolutely unnatural for us. When those other animals have sex without thinking, their lives go on perfectly and there are no devastating affects. If there were, it would be wholly unfair because they simply lack the capacity to plan and prepare.

We, on the other hand, suffer extreme and ill consequences when we don’t use all of our intelligence to prepare for sexual relationships. If we didn’t suffer those consequences (broken families, heartache, loneliness, despondency, social upheaval, etc), we wouldn’t be human.

But, we are. We are human. You are human, so stop blaming relationship woes on love. We can do it like animals, but we must think and plan first, unlike the other animals. It’s not such a bad deal though, because when we do plan for our relationships, we discover purpose in life.

Our talents, our passions and greatest joys are unlocked in the preparation, and this is called chastity. Chastity is not celibacy or abstinence, because chastity is not defined by what you don’t do, whereas the other two are. The other two are boring, pointless, and nobody has time to talk about them.

 

Chastity Redefined

Chastity, on the other hand, is about what you do. Chastity is about mastering your sexual desire so that you can experience lasting love, fulfillment and peace in relationships and life without compromise. When you have mastered sexual desire, there is no thought of ‘not’, like “not having sex”, because “not” isn’t the point. “Not” isn’t the adventure. The adventure lies in channeling your sexual desire creatively into all of your life, and not just waiting for sex. Pleasantly enough, chastity includes the best sex imaginable, but only after a true marriage of body mind and soul.

My sexual desire is channeled creatively through my work and my life. I help men and women prepare for each other in lasting marriage through the desire for my wife, and I am absolutely inspired. I’m sure she will be impressed! I count on that, in fact. Every time I see a beautiful woman, I see someone else’s husband, and I see an amazing opportunity to educate both sexes to prepare for the lasting fulfillment and joy that we were made to experience.

Our bodies thrive when we are happy. Our immunity is strong, and our minds are sharp when we are relaxed and happy. This is a testament to the fact that we were not born to live lives of occasional peaks in pleasure, brokenness and pain, but lives of lasting joy and peace. You can’t have that lasting joy and peace if you accept divorce and brokenness as your lot. But, that is what you will get for lack of a better plan. Solution: Plan better

I experience my wife in all of my activities. When I make a lot of money through my work, I am experiencing the abundance that I know I will share with her and my children. When I am taking care of my body and exercising, I know that I am sculpting a beautiful gift to give to the one I will love and cherish for the rest of my life. Sex is important, so I’m inspired to give her the sexiest man that I can be. Sex connects loving couples and helps them persist through the tough times that life throws at us.

 

Sexual Freedom and Sexual Slavery- Your Decision

 

Sex is not meant to bond us to people who have no interest in our lasting happiness. Sex in that context becomes sexual slavery. How many people have you known to persist in obviously toxic relationships when reason and common sense would tell a person to flee? Sex can be seriously awesome, or seriously damaging. That is all dependent on our perception of it; how we plan for it.

When I am inspired by the sheer beauty of a passing woman, I experience gratitude for my wife, who I will be moved by infinitely more. It’s something to look forward to, and it is something worth believing in. I also see my children in that desire, and so I’m naturally propelled to succeed and live an inspired life. For you women- You want an inspiring husband, right? And you want your children to have an inspiring Papa, Right? So encourage your male friends to change their perceptions of what you are and what you mean to them, and help them to channel their inspiration in creative ways that leaves you, and them, with more.

Love always leaves more; love is fruitful. Acting on lust will leave you with less, and it will also leave your children with less. Love=Peace, Lust=war. We lust after the middle east’s oil, so we make war. If your relationships aren’t leaving you with more, I encourage you to try another way. I encourage you to actually plan for the success that you desire in a relationship.

 

Make Your Plan

Seriously, get a pen and paper. Write all the traits down that you won’t compromise on in yourself and in your mate.  Map out the milestones you want to hit before you commit to someone for the reset of your life.  For me, I knew that I wanted to be honest 100 percent of the time before I was committed to another person for life, so I committed to honesty every day to prepare myself.  Include your relationship success in your weekly plans, and make time for the personal growth you must earn to achieve the dream.

If you don’t have a plan, you will only get what you wouldn’t plan for.  Who plan’s for divorce, hollowness, misery, broken-down kids, and all that junk?  That stuff happens for lack of a better plan, and only you have the power to change that.

If you want to have meaningful and lasting connection with your spouse, practice meaningful and lasting connections. If you practice superficial and transient connections, like with pornography, you will prepare your brain to do the same with your wife.  If you practice viewing all women with dignity, respect, honor, and attentiveness to their feelings, then your wife will have the benefit of a real man who can last and grow with her.  She deserves that gift, and you deserve her presence.  So, practice for her.

Next time you see a beautiful woman, practice the thoughts that you know will lead to lasting happiness and meaningful connection.  Be grateful for the beauty you observe, and for your sexuality. Practice thoughts of gratitude, appreciation, respect and encouragement.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.  Would you wish that your spouse prepare herself for you? Would you want your husband or wife to be dedicated to you through and through? Think of it like this: If your partner is making sure the he or she is staying true and refining their love for you on a daily basis, how likely would they be to throw away all of that hard work and dedication for a fleeting feeling later down the road?  Relationships fail for a lack of commitment, so if you practice commitment, you will succeed.

Conversely, if your future spouse isn’t preparing for you and honoring you by valuing themselves and practicing commitment, how likely would they be to step outside of a relationship later on? Statistically it is around a 60% percent chance, but that says nothing of the unhappily married couples who rue the day of their wedding.

 

Freedom in Lasting Relationships

As men and women, we are free in relationships through marriage. Free as in: free from vice, free from losers who only want you for your body, free from want, free from lust, free from heartbreak, and free from knowing that you could have done better.

The freedom of marriage is only an extension of the freedom secured through preparing for it. Through the commitment of marriage, a person frees themselves to be part of a team that creates new love and ensures a happy home for it in their bodies and in their house. Through marriage, a person is free to be fulfilled and secure, and they are free to share that with the next generation.

Through marriage, the masterpiece of your love is shared with your family. Those who come after you will have your masterpiece to elaborate on, or at least use as a template for their very own. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a vast privilege that we are in charge of in this very moment. We have been given everything that we need to be happy and content beyond measure if only we make up our minds to live that way; if only we prepare to live that way.

If you don’t practice love and if you count on luck to save you from your own inadequacy, any marriage that you enter will be false. It will be a farce, and it will be viewed as a restriction to your “sexual freedom”. Would you want your spouse to view you as a safety from loneliness and as a consolation prize?  Or, would you want your spouse to live courageously and thoughtfully so that they would have the enormous privilege of sharing a life in love with you? The difference is night and day, and it comes down to a simple choice: to love, or not. That decision gets easier and easier with practice.

I sure as heck wouldn’t want to marry you if you regarded me as a consolation, as settling. Any person with an interest in happiness would think similarly. The law of attraction always applies, so please think of your children. Would you want them to grow up viewing a lackluster and false representation of what love says and does? You and your spouse will be the first and foremost example of love in your children’s lives. If you make that example a good one and if you make it true, you will be a living peacemaker.

 

Take Charge

When love is lucky, love is cruel. When love is lucky, love favors some and not others. When love is lucky, love is a lie and it isn’t worth believing in.

For many generations, people have gradually and incrementally externalized their power to love in different icons and concepts, all of them false, leaving us today with a completely inverted perception of what it means to love. You may not realize how important you are, but I do. Believe in something better for yourself; you are worth it, and you are capable of it. Create the peace that you desire in this world, in this lifetime. Believe in the art of love, and believe in your capability of perfecting it with practice. Believe in marriage, and the freedom and healing that comes through it.

 

For me, there is no higher honor than being blessed with the capability of creating new life. For every life, there is a unique facet of love that has the power to change the world and impact the lives of many. To have the power to create this immensely important thing is nothing short of miraculous, and that means that you are a miracle. Your mom and dad are miracles. Your husbands and wives are miracles. Your children to be are miracles.

Take the responsibility for love seriously and make it a certainty by practicing; by preparing. Challenge yourself to make something better than what has been labeled “ normal” by our current society. Do something different. Make your relationships part of your lasting masterpiece.

If you’re having trouble and need some support, get in touch with me at dowlingwriter.com

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