Secure woman

7 Ways to Overcome Insecurity For Good

        If you’ve struggled with symptoms of insecurity, like bad relationships and poor self  esteem, it’s time to put an end to it. Follow these 7 steps and change your life today. You’re worth it.

Insecurity is like a ravenous wolf just waiting to be fed by your thoughts. The hungry beast will feast on negativity when you forget your worth; when you forget to love yourself. It salivates over thoughts like, “I’m not good enough”, or, “I don’t deserve better”.

But you are in total control of whether it eats or starves.

The more the animal is fed, the louder it howls and the tinier you feel. The wolf of insecurity can appear so big and bad that you’ll look for anyone to make it better, like I did. Most people who’ve battled insecurity have looked for other people to make it go away. But it’s a crutch; a crutch that keeps you from being the strong and independent person you are meant to be.

Here’s how it works:

You’ll hear, “You’re so beautiful. I want you. I need you. You are enough.” And you’ll swear it’s true because these thoughts starve the wolf. You feel better. You feel confident and beautiful.
The problem is that these thoughts didn’t come from you. So as soon as a boyfriend or girlfriend lets you down, or leaves, you’re back to the same old story of insecurity. The wolf actually never leaves until you are so strong in yourself that it runs away for fear of never being fed again.
Here’s how to starve the wolf and overcome insecurity for good:

1. Tell yourself how worthy and valuable you are

You’ll believe anything you hear often enough, so never stop saying it. If you’re disciplined in one thing, make it a positive self dialogue. Never give in, and always battle for the best you.

Start a routine of positive self talk first thing in the morning, before you go to bed, and whenever you get to feeling low. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, and never settle for less than that. You deserve that positivity in your life.

2. Forgive yourself for the insecurity you fed in to

Accept yourself for the choices you made, love yourself, and commit to better decisions. Seriously. Write down your commitments for a better life and hold to them as if your life depends on it. It does.

3. Stop dating choads

If you feel like you need to be dating, that’s a sure sign that you aren’t ready. So forget about dating for a while. You are enough just by yourself. When you internalize that truth, your life and friendships will blossom. Eventually you’ll fall in love with a friend who you’ve grown with and learned to love unconditionally.

Have faith in that. Try to be content with never ending personal development.

4. Stop listening to bad music

If you’ve battled insecurity for a lifetime, you need all the help you can get to overcome it. Give yourself the help by disconnecting from negative influences. In allowing yourself to be influenced by disempowering music, movies, and media, you’ll be dragged back into the same cycle of insecure thoughts.

So if your favorite music is all about hooking up, feeling lonely, getting drunk and regretting life…you need to find a new favorite. Same goes for movies and TV.
The information you take in forms the person you are to become. If you don’t want that person to be insecure, then feed yourself uplifting and encouraging tunes.

It’s not rocket science. Starve that wolf, and build a better you by design.

5. Cut all ties with your exes

Any ex that you’ve made through insecurity will be a hot bed of insecurity. They’ll refresh your neural connections to pleasure, but the same goes for jealousy, unworthiness, and every other limiting belief that went into the relationship.

Exes just aren’t a good idea. So forgive them, empathize with why you wanted them, and let them go. For good. Growing up is hard, but you gotta do it for you.

6. Let go of friends who don’t want to grow with you

Your friends are the biggest external influences in your life. If you really want to be fulfilled and confident in yourself, choose friends who you can emulate.
If they just can’t get past the achey breaky heart business, letting them go will be the best thing for both of you. You won’t drag yourself down anymore, and you’ll give the friend a wakeup call that can change their life.

Choose friends who affirm your worth. Choose generous friends. Choose positive and encouraging friends. Choose go-getter friends who can’t be stopped from sharing their value. Choose friends who you can challenge and be challenged by to grow as a person.

If they are honest, adventurous, creative, humble, secure in themselves, and uplifting, they are for you. But in order to get those kind of friends, you have to be that friend, starting with yourself!

Starve that wolf.

7.Start a journal

We need to feel good about what we’re doing, otherwise, we won’t continue. If you aren’t reminded of your accomplishments and the amazing things you’re doing to overcome insecurity, you’ll quit. So start a journal.

Write down your thoughts, feelings, challenges, dreams, and the steps you are taking to achieve more each day. This makes personal development an irreplaceable part of the story of your life.
Journaling helps you to accept yourself right where you are, to celebrate the progress you’ve made, and to plan for better decisions tomorrow.

Do you really need more convincing?  Start tonight. Review your day before you go to bed; write down the thoughts that influenced your actions; and change the thoughts to suit your personal growth. Don’t forget to celebrate each step you take to a better and more secure you.


The entire article, along with steps 8-10, will be published in the next two months. If you can’t wait that long, forward this article to the magazine you’d like to see it featured in.

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